Called

WOW! It’s been a long time since I’ve written here. I have this one serious post then I have tons of fun blog post to get up here hopefully by the first of next week!!!

Well, where have I been? For the year of 2010 I heard God calling me home. I tried to ignore him, but he just got louder. So for 2011 I am obeying. I am staying home- spending priceless time with my party of 5.

You see, I believe I was called to my husband. In bible school when I was about 12, my teacher told us we should pray for our future husband. She probably had no idea that any of us actually would, but I did. Not every day, but often I prayed that God would send my husband to me and that he would be so in love with God that that love would spill over into a love for me. Did it keep me from ever being heartbroken as a teenager? No. But, it did change the way I dated- I dated with purpose. My purpose was to please God with my choice; I wanted my will and his will to match.

In the end, I was called to Ryan. What a life we have had! I have almost been with him ½ of my life. He is my other ½ in so many ways so it makes me sad to say that for so long I had separated myself from him. Not literally, but there was me and God, me and my friends, me and my work/obligations/Bible studies, me and my kids, me and my family and me and Ryan.

What? Am I so comfortable with him that I just assume he’s ok being in last place? Is it ok that he always gets whatever is leftover of me?

No- it’s not ok. And even more than that- it’s not ok to ignore God when you can hear him say- “GO HOME”.


So…. I went home- to my husband. Not to my kids, specifically to my husband, falling back under his leadership and guidance. Yeah, I know this sounds a little 1950ish, but submission is the will of God for wives. Wow- it’s hard, especially in our society, but submitting to Ryan brings me more safety and security than the entire United States Armed Forces.


And….


We have had the best time. We have worked on community service projects together, taken over leadership of a community group, spent time with my Grandmother (who, by the way is getting closer and closer to meeting Jesus), GONE ON DATES, gone on trips, in the process of going through Tres Dias, and in less than 2 weeks we are going on a CRUISE- without children!


What has my obedience done for our marriage? Well, I already knew I was married to the sweetest man on earth because no matter how busy I was and how little time I spent with him he NEVER complained. So, really could it get any better, cloud he get any kinder? All I can say is my God is so sweet to me, he has called me to this man that I swear I do not deserve. Ryan continues to want to please me, he keeps buying me gifts and taking me out. If he keeps it up I may never stray again. As far as God and I are concerned, we are finally at peace.  By staying focused on God, soaking him up, and growing in his grace- I will be good for my husband. I heard God call me home, listened to him, and obeyed him. In case you don’t know, whenever you obey God- no matter how hard it is- the reward is ALWAYS GREAT! Greatness is what Ryan and I have and GREAT is our future together.


Ephesians 5:23-32

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Fast

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live, and in you name I will lift up my hands. Psalm 63:1-4

The Holy Spirit has been using this verse in the past month or so to speak to me.

It’s no secret that I love to worship! If I could be someone from the bible I would be King David - at least right now. I love to sing loudly and dance with my girls in the car. Sometime in the grocery store when I am saving money for our family I want to just give a little shout out to the Big Man. Or when Ryan and I just don’t think there is “enough” money and the King of our checkbook turns a dime into a dollar I want to offer praise to Him. I do usually- some people may think I am crazy or insane. That’s what David’s wife thought of him, but it didn’t stop him from dancing in the streets and it won’t stop me either. So if the nurse that walked in on me praying prayers of thanksgiving over LB in the ER when her fever broke thinks I’m crazy- it’s ok because I know who broke that fever and wasn’t her!

Oddly enough I can’t get enough of him. Not that that is odd- it’s just that no matter how much time I spend with Jesus I still end up wanting more of him. I want to be so close to him that my His thoughts are my thoughts, His words are my words, my heart is in sync with His, His burdens are my burdens.

I am not spending as much time with him as I did this summer and I know that is why the Holy Spirit is speaking to me so consistently. I know that God is jealous of my job, my students, my children, my husband, my friends, my house, my “stuff”, anything that separates me from him. He longs for me to be with Him and I long to be with Him as well.

I told a friend of mine a few weeks ago that I just want to go off to a desert somewhere and be alone with Jesus. She suggested I at least bring a hammock. Though it’s a good idea it’s not practical for my life.

So I am fasting.

I struggle with telling people that I fast because people are curious and ask a lot of questions. I understand that so here is a great website with resources. I mostly struggle with people knowing because it is such a private and sacrificial affair between Jesus and me that I don’t like to share the experience with others.

If you have never experienced fasting you should try it. People fast from all kinds of things, but I find food works best for me. I do caution against fasting from just anything. If you fast from the internet and then don’t spend the time you would normally spend on the internet with Jesus then you aren’t really fasting. If you have fasted in the past and really didn’t get what all the hoopla is about perhaps you weren’t fasting from something you can’t live without, which drives you to the feet of Jesus. Which is where going without food leads me- at the sweet feet of Jesus! Exactly where I need to be right now- on my knees in worship, where life becomes clear and direction becomes irrelevant because just knowing that Jesus is the bread and water of my life is enough!

When I finish my fast I will be renewed and refreshed so watch out I might start sing praises out loud in the Grocery store or the girls and I might take our “car worship” out onto hwy 365 for all to see!

Laughing With Our Little Ladies #2

This past weekend we were out of town for a wedding that Ryan and the twins were in. This is the last wedding we will have to participate in for awhile. Thank goodness.

Anyways, we stayed at a hotel where they had continental breakfast so on Saturday morning the twins and I went downstairs to grab a bite and fix something for Brennan and Ryan. While I was preparing food for the masses Bree and Blythe were watching Good Morning America. As I sat down I halfway heard the commercial on TV, but I COMPLETELY saw Bree’s eyes widen with curiosity and wonder.

Yes, in less than 60 seconds the propaganda of our great society took my daughters mind to a place where I am not sure I would have ever been ready for it to go. And as if I was watching in slow motion the question flopped out of her mouth before I could distract her. Great! Now, Blythe is intrigued by Bree’s question and they are both looking at me awaiting an answer.

“A disease. Yes, a disease that people don’t talk about.”

Well, hopefully that was the end of that.

But, I would like to thank the makers of Cialis. You allowed me to have another opportunity to think on the fly, creatively avoiding a conversation with my children. It’s nice to know this particular mothering skill is sharp in case of an emergency. However, I could have gone my whole life without hearing my 4 year old say, “… erectile dysfunction”.

Here are a few pics from latter on that day...

Football Lesson #1

Oppps I thought I posted this already!

PASS HANDOFF and PITCH???

Ok I have it- no big deal. Expect when they hand off or pitch; sometimes I don’t see where the ball goes. Thank God for DVR and replays. WOW- that is something I never thought I would say!! I mean maybe about the DVR recording my “stories”, but not about football.

*BOUNS LESSON- you can’t win football games on field goals ALONE

**BOUNS LESSON 2- Well, maybe you can if you toss in a couple of TD’s for good measure!

GO GA TECH!

99.9%

So a couple of weeks ago Ryan and I celebrated out 7 year anniversary- yes a milestone totally worthy of it’s own blog post. However, right before I was about to post I decided to take “the test”- yep that one. Before I go any further I have to tell you that Ryan and I were not trying, in fact I have an IUD in place to prevent such an occurrence. Are we totally opposed to having a 4th? Na, but the birth of our 3rd is in our recent past and we are not mentally or physically ready. Are we totally sure we want a 4th? Na, life is finally starting to settle since #3 has reached the 1 year milestone and thought of backtracking so soon is a little unsettling.

Negative- the test was negative. The results were however were irrelevant to a women who’s been in “that” condition a total of 7 times. There is absolutely no mistaking the symptoms.

So on the first day of our 8th year of marriage I take test #2- positive. See I told you- positive. There was no mistaking- this is really going to be my 8th time to be in “that” condition.

What are the odds?-
Less than 8 in 1,000 to be exact. (According to the Mirena pamphlet.)

I could buy 1,000 lotto tickets and none of them would be winners, but Ryan and I can bat eyes at each other and I can get lucky!

I really should take the time to blog about the day Bree and Blythe were conceived- it’s pretty comical- much like the rest of our lives. But, anyways on that day the nurse told me that Ryan was the biggest depositor she had seen in a long time and ALL of his swimmers were usable. –APARENTLY- something she doesn’t get to see very often. CLEARLY- this must still be the case since they seem to have bypassed the plastic thinga magigger in their way.

Subsequently, I took 10 more test all of which were positive. ***Note- The Equate brand pregnancy tests are very good at picking up the slightest traces of hcg.

Being in the state of shock I was in my weekend was flooded in tears and anticipation for Tuesday- the day my new blood work would be back.

It is over- I am no longer in “that” condition.

Perception- really is all that changed.
I am ready for #4?
Will it just be #4 or could it mean #4, #5, and #6?
God must really want me to have #4 if he knocked down the little plastic barricades.
Do I want #4 or do I want to wear a belt again? -I haven’t worn one since #1 & #2 came along.
Can my “dumb” cervix make it through #4? –I mean my incompetent cervix.
Can I raise #4?
Can I be faithful in prayer for #4?
Do I have what it takes to teach #4 to love Jesus?
Will I have what it takes to discipline consistently and gently?
I might actually have to drive a mini van…
Will Ryan and I be able to give #4 the opportunities they deserve?
What does God require of a mother of 4 little disciples?
Will #4 make my butt grow like #1, 2, and 3 did?
I just want a boob job and a tummy tuck- can they do that when they do my c-section?
I thought we were going to start doing mission trips as a family- I mean I wanted you to send us out God!!
Is this home my mission field? Or is that what cop-outs resort to? –“Oh my home is my mission.”
Maybe my mission is being a mother- maybe our children are your “chosen generation”…

Perception. Is that all that has changed or have our hearts changed, mine and Ryan’s?
I can’t help, but to think of all the ladies in the bible who prayed for children- Sarah, Hannah, Rachel and how I used to relate to them. How many doctors told me my endometriosis was too severe and I may have problems conceiving. Each of these biblical mothers desired children and in God’s time they were blessed and blessed abundantly.

Abundance- that is the God I serve, a God of abundance.

So what does that mean for our family? I don’t know- ask God. But, right now- we are a family of five (that still use bc) who worship a God of abundance.

Quotes from Ronnie Green ICU

My dad started having chest pains last Thursday and after I gave him 2 baby aspirin he headed to HCMC ER. Following some abnormal test results he was sent to the Ronnie Green Heart Center at Northeast Georgia Medical Center.

It wasn’t until he arrived at RGHC that he actually had a small heart attack. The first couple of days were bad for him and scary for us. After his cath they told us that he would need open heart surgery- which leads me to today.

I am warming the floor here in the waiting room because my family and our friends have overtaken this small uninviting room. Our loved ones have turned this cold and sterilely decorated room into a warm inviting niche inside this big hospital. This out pouring of hospitality, love and support has created a sense of comfort and peace for my family.

With that said instead of sitting here driving myself crazy as I wait I have decided to document some of the better moments of the last 5 days. These are just a collection of short humorous moments with my dad. Enjoy!

* Dad will not remove his shorts or empty his pockets, which contain his pocket knife, wallet, cell phone, keys, and miscellaneous notes. Mom finally got him to give her his cell phone so he says to me, “SHE confiscated my phone, I cain’t call nobody”. When he finally sent mom his wallet by my brothers he had rubber banded it together (so nothing would fall out). It wasn’t until the next day when they took him to get his cath that he gave up the shorts.

* I called mom to bring his cpap machine because his oxygen would dip when he was sleeping. He yells out, “NOOOOOO! I don’t need that, this machine over here only beeped one time last night.” I respond, “that’s right dad because you were wearing the nasal cannula, but during your nap it has gone off continuously and your nurse asked if you had your cpap with you”. He stiffs up and says, “awe hell- that damn machine beeps all the time. The damn thing is just broken”. RIGGGGGHHHHHTTTTT

* Jonathan drank a Red Bull while visiting Dad at the later visitation time. When he finished he left it on Dad’s tray. When the nurse came in Jonathan said while pointing to the empty can, “hey, do think it would be ok if my Dad had another one, they are his favorite”. The long pause was followed by burst of laughter.

* One morning the nurse (who was male) came in to introduce himself, Dad responded, “you know I was trained to kill, I spent 25 years perfecting the art”.

* The nurse told him he needed another blood test, when dad heard the cart rolling down the hallway he said, “here comes the vampires, those damn ladies have about drained me dry”.

* This one is a quote that was repeated many many times, “this food ain’t worth shit”. –Steve Patton

* To a nurse dad said, “hey- you know I just got out of the hospital. They finally let me have sharp objects about 2 weeks ago.” Seriously Dad, some of these people don’t know you are joking.

* I told Dad I had spoke with Dr. Garrett. He said, “I hope you told him I’m ok and I ain’t through giving him hell yet”.

Some of you don’t know my Dad that well and let me tell you- you are missing out! He is the funniest man! So full of humor and life and piss and vinegar. I love him to pieces. How could I not- he was the first man that ever loved me.

As much as we have laughed, today was also marked by tears and fears, both of which we tossed at the feet of Jesus. We are free of those burdens and are looking forward to the morning.

** The sweetest moment of the day had to have been the moment my Dad and his brother did the manly head hug, choked back sobs, and cracked out the words, “I love you brother”.

*** Update on my grandmother. She is still not doing well. She is at home, but remains sick.

"All I Ask For is 3 Months"

It has started.

Football Season.

Ryan is a LOVER of football! All football from little league to Pro. He has a favorite college team, but really he holds no bisas so long as the team is not playing Georgia Tech. Yes, Tech is his favorite team and if you really knew him it wouldn’t surprise you.

As much as he loves football and is a sport fanatic in general; deep down he is a dork. That’s right a dork and he won’t deny it. He hides it well, but don’t be fooled by his charade. He was always the teacher’s pet, a title he is actually proud of. (I can’t tell you how often his old teachers come up to me and say, “I just loved having Ryan in my class. He was one of the best students I’ve ever tought”. –GAG!) This Teacher’s Pet continues to be a lover of math and physics; pocket protectors and calculators.

His gift of ingenuity and his passion for math naturally leads him to favor Georgia Tech over the other obvious choice. But, really unless UGA is playing GT it doesn’t matter he truly loves the game.

It is the dawn of football season and he’s already started saying, “all I ask for is 3 months, you can have me the other 9- I just need 3 months”. That is what he says, what he actually means is, “I want you to sit on the couch while I sit in ‘my chair’ and watch at least 3 games with me on Saturday and Sunday and at least 1 maybe 2 games with me if it’s a week night. Make sure the kids don’t bug me and that I am only required to have miminal participation in their lives. I require a pantry that is well stocked with munchies and we need to have enough ‘Daddy Cokes’ on hand for any major upsets or seat clenchers. OH, the most important thing for you to do is remain QUITE- DO NOT under any circumstance ask questions reguarding the rules of the game”.

I really want Ryan to have the desires of his heart, but so far in our relationship I have only been able to fulfill part of his request. He does watch a lot of football durning season and I am pretty good at keeping the kids out of his hair and the drinks and snacks are easy enough. It’s the last part that I’m not so good at- sit quite and pretend you like what you are seeing and that you totally understand it.

I don’t have any reason in specific for not loving football. In fact- for as long as I can remember football has been a part of my life. I remember toddling around the practice field at Central Gwinnett High School while my older brother practiced. I remember dancing under the staduium lights in my tutu and ballet shoes on Friday nights at CGHS. I remember hot chocolate and snuggling with my dad on the black and gold bleachers to keep warm. I remember my dad and his friends getting ready to tailgate at Georgia Tech games. I remember on Saturdays the T.V. was forever locked on games. I remember my baby brother sporting his blue and orange jersery like it was a Gucci suit. I remember my mom organizing booster club meetings and t-shirt sales. I remember the stinky pads, cleats, gym clothes, and grass satins. I remember traveling to Rhodes College to watch one of my good friends play ball. I remember taking pictures of my parents and little brother on senior night at Habersham Central High School. I remember watching Ryan play through googly eyes and then trying not to gag from his stench when he wanting his after game hug (I had no problem with hugs after he showered ;)). With all these wonderful memories one would think I would love football or at least autumn. But, trouth be told I just don’t enjoy the game like Ryan does and actually I am really more of a summertime girl.

*Note- I did not say I don’t like football, I said I don’t love football. I think some of my dislike of the sport comes from my lack of football comprehension (Ryan would consider that a learning deficiency.) So in an effort to fulfill Ryan’s request in full. I have been doing some reading and youtube watching. We will see soon enough if my studies have paid off. Though I don’t believe football will ever be one of my passions, at least I might be able to keep up WITHOUT asking questions.

So to my Helluva of an Engineer – there will be plenty of clear whisky, your daughters will be dressed in white and gold- they will cheer on the brave and bold. To hell with Georgia- drink to all good fellows who come from far and near –You, ramblin', gamblin', hell of an engineer.

I hope the next 3 months are all you expect them to be.


GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JACKETS!



Below is the song I wanted to have playing, but I guess it's too new. Anyway, you can listen to the video, but you may have to turn my music off on the side- something a few of you won't mind doing I am sure. ;)

Kenny Chesney - "The Boys Of Fall": "Hemingway's Whiskey"